Since I recently gave birth, I’m re-running some guest posts I’ve been proud of. This is the first time they’re appearing on my site. So, these may be new to some and re-runs to others. Either way, I hope you’ll enjoy.
I recently started a conversation with my husband. Now, husbands may refer to this type of conversation as “Nagging” but years of working in Corporate America has taught me that it is really called “Level Setting”.
I recently started a conversation with my husband. Now, husbands may refer to this type of conversation as “Nagging” but years of working in Corporate America has taught me that it is really called “Level Setting”.
“David,” I said casually while checking Twitter, “I’ve really been trying to keep the house clean lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Like any good husband, he was wary and refrained from speaking to me.
“Now, I know we’ve got a lot going on,” I continued, “but I think we need to set some priorities before the baby gets here. Our closet needs to be organized and the garage is a mess.”
“I told you it was your job to get that Jacuzzi out of the garage,” he was quick to point out to his 5 months pregnant wife. I ignored him.
“So, those things are things I really think we need to focus on in the next two months. I also need to buy diapers, wash the baby’s clothes and determine what we need to buy the boys for their winter wardrobe.”
“Wah wah wah, wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah,” heard my husband.
“But what’s really important is this,” I continued on. “I hate the goddamn vacuum. I need you to know that I am never, ever going to vacuum upstairs. If you think that needs to be done more often, that’s on you. Because while I should do it, I won’t. I need you to be aware of that so that you don’t get any unrealistic expectations.”
“When have you EVER vacuumed upstairs?” he spit, suddenly slightly outraged.
“Never,” I confirmed. “I need you to know that won’t change. Not while we get ready for this next baby, not while I’m on maternity leave, not if I become a stay at home mom. I’ll do laundry and dishes and cook. Hell, I’ll scrub toilets but I absolutely will not vacuum upstairs. I thought you should know.”
He was quiet. For a long time. I’m not sure he knew how to respond without getting slapped. Although he could have been fuming that I hadn’t yet disposed of the Jacuzzi that was sitting in our garage.
“Well honey,” he responded some hours later, “you should know: laundry is my vacuuming. Never gonna happen.”
“Duly noted,” I replied.
And that is how you set levels. Suck it, Corporate America. You ain’t got nothing on us.
It should be noted, we have carpet upstairs and hardwood downstairs. Hardwood that my husband waxes himself, religiously. (Heh) So upstairs is all I have to worry about…and I don’t. Want to see me not clean even more? Like me on Facebook to keep up with my non-cleaning antics.
“Suck it corporate America…”
Haha I'm glad you reposted this gem!
How are your floors looking these days?
I don't mind vacuuming or folding laundry…but I hate putting laundry away. BOO.
I love it when we can all come to an agreement.
dusting. dusting is my vacuuming.
Yup. We've had these negotia- er, conversations as well. For instance, I cook while he cleans up the kitchen. And all is right with the world.
you kill me, ya know this right? suck it. HA!
i do all the laundry. and vacuuming. and floor cleaning.
come to think of it, wtf does mr. kiss even do?
Awesome. Over here, I don't scrub showers and he doesn't dust. Happily ever after.
I vacuumed upstairs for the first time in so long I can't remember the last time I did it. Thank you for showing me I am not alone.