While at Blissdom, I heard several people compare the conference to being in junior high. Or a sorority rush.
I can see that. Really, I can. Meeting new people, worrying about what you say, what you do, how you look. I freaking hated junior high.
But here was my major takeaway from the conference: I am not in junior high any more.
Seems obvious, huh? Since, I’m, you know, older than 13.
But I was surprised to find how damn free I felt. There I was, with women I loved, being myself. Not worried about my clothes or my words, just being me. Somewhere between junior high and here, I learned that I am what I am and that’s all that I am.
All the wonderful women I finally met in real life, I hugged like I meant it. I got up and busted a move because I wanted to, no matter how stupid I looked. I walked out of a session I didn’t feel was helping me and found something else.
Junior high me would have been so afraid to be judged. She never would have risked doing any of those things – she wouldn’t have risked doing what she wanted. That me is still somewhere in there, I won’t pretend she’s not. She’s just not running the show any more.
And that’s pretty freaking amazing.
At Blissdom, I learned that I am myself.
LawMomma sent me an email while at the conference that said I was 100% just like my blog.
That email meant a hell of a lot to me.
And while I don’t always like myself, I like that I’m finally owning who I am.
As proof, I can do this, totally sober, on a largely empty dance floor:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgEXTvJqWwI]
Lucky for me, I’ve got a pretty excellent partner in crime to do it with. And I’m lucky to know a smart lady named Melissa who video taped that footage; I’m glad to have that memory in so many ways.
To all of you I met, thank you so much for this lesson.
For all of you I didn’t, we will meet. We will hug. And we will dance.
For the record, that song is “Love Lied” by Chris Mann and it will released to the public soon. Maybe with our dancing promoting it. Thanks for linking up to us Mr. Mann.
I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome it is to start my morning watching you bust a move. I'm dancing, my coffee in hand, with you, girl. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Love the song, too.
You already know how much I love that you danced your ass off like nobody's business. You two owned it. You totally owned the moment. Love that.
What a great post, I'm glad you gained so much from the conference, including a little more that was not expected. I never thought it would be so freeing to grow up and realize I can just be who I want to be and I don't have to worry about walking through a hallway of whispers anymore.
I still have major issues with REALLY letting go and dancing in public and an empty dance floor no less? You have skills.
I feel like writing this in all caps so maybe I will.
I THINK THE MOST COOLEST THING WOULD BE TO BE WITH PEEPS WHO KNOW WHAT YOU”RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAY KLUDGYMOM AND MOMMYPANTS AND MOMMYOFAMONSTER AND BELLEBEANDOG AND TAMING INSANITY AND INTHESESMALLMOMENTS AND LAUNDRYHURTSMYFEELINGS AND>>>
HOW NAUGHTY TULPEN IS.
I HATE not having anyone I know nod their head and go “yup” when I want to talk about my peeps.
That's what I think the coolest thing would be.
So going to the next blog conference and so bringing my glow sticks. Get down with your bad self. (Great song too!)
The funniest part is Liz laughing and you dancing in the zone.
p.s. Awesome purse Liz.
I'm so glad that you got to go and that you enjoyed it!
I crack up everytime I see that video…it oozes fun!
i am sad i wasn't there to see this in person. but was kind of on overload and had no business being in the company of lots of people that night…but i'm so glad you shared the clip so i could watch you in all of your awesomeness. because that is what you are. you and liz are so much fun!
and i really do love you.
gush.
This post is so moving! I love that you are serious yet funny, but more importantly, I love that you headed home a more confident, comfortable chick.
I'm so fortunate to have you in my life.
And I want to save your “I Love You” airplane text foreva!
I love this so much I'm speechless.
You've got MOVES, girl!
It was so amazing to meet you in person and get one of those great hugs. And give one.
This post is AWESOME. And totally inspiring.
-xoxo
-Ellie
Pretty sure that y'all are the reason peeps got on the dance floor.. just sayin'!
It was awesome meeting you!
It's a wonderful day when we realize that the best thing in the world is to just be ourselves. It's all uphill from here!
I have to agree with Kristen, I love how Liz is cracking up and you are so serious with your dance moves! Also, for what it's worth? What you is, is fabulous.
Sounds like so much fun! I'm sooo intimidated by these conferences, but you ladies are making me want to go!
I've been in a sorority rush. The difference between a blog conference and that is that the members already love you. Hell, you're already a part of the sorority!
Love this video. I'm terrified of going to a blog conference, but want to go in the worst way. I may seen cool on the internet but I'm totally dorky in real life.
Damn, woman! You've got some moves!
I'm glad you had a good time. Someday, I hope I'll have that kind of confidence.
I have seen this clip on twitter and it makes me smile every time.
Look at you bust a move!! That is hilarious!!!
Now if you broke out in the robot or shopping cart, that would have made this video super dooper awesome. Oh and whilst wearing antlers.
I love this! I love feeling confident and secure and wish I could literally will it to everyone woman in the room! So liberating to shed all those worries.
And, you've got some MOVES!!! Love, love, love it!
Words cannot express just how much I love that video.
I love the reckless abandon and pure happiness that I see.
I'm so happy that you got to go to Blissdom and that you had such an amazing time.
Yes, you are you. You are just perfect.
Much love.
It is refreshing to read a post that someone felt “free” at Blissdom. I have read so many Jr High-ish posts about it and each time I read one I want to yell “move on and stop feeling sorry for yourself”.
You've got some moves!!!
Awesome! You and Liz totally rocked that dance floor!
I have to say out of all the blissdom posts I have been reading, yours definitely is the best. Straight to the point and always humorous!
Loved meeting you. Loved hanging out. Loved watching you dance (but dude, remind me never to wear pajama pants in public again). And love your perspective.
I love that video.
Like a wonderful woman who we lost to cancer taught me, “Dancing with abandon is always more joyous than dancing with style.”
Not that you don't have style, babe. You have it in spades.
But I so love the dancing with abandon.
Love it!!
I love shaking my rump when the mood strikes and I totally understand why this is freeing for you, to realize that you can literally Dance Like Nobody is Watching!
I didn't know you in middle school (like how I use valuable commenting space to state the obvious?)
Still. I wish I did. Know you, I mean. I would have set down my purse and glass of wine to dance with you, too.
Love the clip. You two are fabulous.
That is all.
I've watched that video probably too many times now, but I just can't get over the awesomeness of it. Seriously amazing!
Love the thoughts here! You can sit at any damn lunch table in the whole cafeteria now!
This is too awesome! I would have loved to have gone… maybe next year…
It is amazing when you get to the point that you are at, where all that matters is you and not what others think. I have been there for a while and now I look back and realize how much time I wasted trying to please others or not be judges. I could have been so much more productive with the attitude that I have now.
Love. Love. Love.
That night was such a blast.
I think that is a HUGE compliment! When someone says you are 100% like your blog, that means you're doin' it right.
I never heard the sorority or jr. high comments but, a friend and I did joke about how sorority life gave us great exit lines for uncomfortable situations — but, we were merely teasing.
Words can't express how much I love that video. Seriously. I've seen it a half dozen times and I still love it. No, I'm not a stalker.
Anyway, to the point: This is a really important post to me. Because as I read about everyone's Blissdom preparations all I could think about was how nervous I would be, how freakishly worried I'd be about every aspect of myself. It is so refreshing to read your take on it, and how you learned not just about blogging but about yourself. I'm so glad to know that you did.
Saw a RT by @in_mandyland of your post here and hopped on over to it. First time visiting you & oh so glad I did!
That was a “pretty freaking amazing” post (to quote you! :>) and quite inspiring. LOVED the video!! :>:> Thanks!
THAT my dear looked FUN!
Awesome. So awesome.
It must be amazing to meet people who already know and love you!
I have heard such wonderful things about this conference. So glad you felt comfortable being you.
You, my friend, are a-ma-zing. And I love that we are both working on overcoming that same awkward, insecure, angst-filled teen inside. Weird that it's taken me 20 years to address it. Glad that I'm addressing it with you on my team.
And I SO want to meet you at the next blog conference and boogie down.
Great post. HERE HERE!
Exactly.
Wonderful.
That was AWESOME! What an amazing thing to get out of a blogging conference. Cheers to you. Keep on groovin'.
My Gawd, yer famous now.
Nothing better than being at home in your own skin.
Nothing.
Except chocolate.
Oh, this is so true- we're NOT in junior high any more.
I was so nervous going into Blissdom and then I decided to just be me and not care if I was liked or not.
That was the greatest video! I love how you committed! Good stuff!
Love this post. I'm sure everyone relates! I'm so happy you had such a great experience! Here's to you girl!
sounds like an incredible experience! so happy you got to go. I can't wait until I can do something like that.
I will never ever tire of that video clip.
I currently want to slam my head against a wall for professional reasons but watching this clip just saved my head.
I thank you. Where is that show Solid Gold when you need it?
I wasn't at Blissdom but your post makes me want to go even more. Thanks for sharing and for dancing! Maybe we'll get to dance it up next year.
I have only one thing to say about this…WAHOO!
I shall keep your attitude in mind during Blogher.
This is an outstanding post! A testament to the beauty of outgrowing our younger selfs and finding our way to the “real” us.
I love that you had such a great trip. And I also love to hear you talk about your own personal awareness and growth, if I may. You are so refreshing to get to know through blog and twitter. Keep up whatever it is you are doing because it looks good on you.
I've watched that video more than my TRX video and it doesn't get old. LOVE that you guys had so much fun (without me).
You rock my socks! With a fox.
Okay…I'll stop now.
I think we all feel a little bit like that jr. high kid and the only way to get over it is to accept ourselves for who we are.
Loved this post!
YES! That right there is why I love blogging conferences. Because you can totally bust a move on the dance floor and even though everyone is watching and might not be joining in, you don't feel like judgement is being cast down upon you. I love that.
You have mad dance skillz!
Dear KLZ,
You have amazing dance moves and I would be honored to bust it with you on a dance floor at some point in the future. As long as you'd be up for karaoking with me afterwards.
Great post – and great point. I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said, “Free your mind and the rest will follow.”
Are you going to BlogHer? Please tell me yes. I will not accept any other answer.
KLZ? When I watched this video a few days ago for the first time THIS was just how I imagined you'd be in person. So the real you, the un-junior highish you, comes through loud and clear through your writing.
And I hope to dance with you in real life one day. But I can't bust a move like that, I'd probably break a hip.
You and Liz tore up that dance floor. I am glad you are exactly act how you appear on your blog. Its funny how we find ourselves compared to junior high.
That video is AWESOME.
I have been reading a lot of post-Blissdom posts this week….but this one calls out to me and tells me to buy that ticket next year and make it work.
I adore dancing. This makes me wish I had gone. THANKS A LOT.
So I know you've already gotten 61 comments on how awesome this is, but THIS IS AWESOME!
What a great thing to take away from your experience at the conference. And to hear that your personality actually matched your voice/blog? Nothing better, I'm sure.
And last but not least…sweet moves.
That was amazing!
Me? I love to dance! I just can't do any choreographed moves, even if my life depended on it…the Macarena even practically does me in.
But I'll bust a freestyle move with you at BlogHer.
(PS go to BlogHer)
Am so not sure I would like it.
The whole interacting with other humans thing…
And? You were too drunk. Right?
My daughter started junior high this September and she breaks my heart evey day. So much worrying about every body else when she is so fantastic just how she is. I can't wait until she gets to a place where she can dance even when everybody is watching!
Good for you! I think the Jr High Jill would want to creep up to the surface.
I love this clip!
Awesome! Super fun! Love the video!
-CK
This post really resonated with me. I am coming to own myself a lot more these days. It takes so much work to try to be someone you're not, and chances are being yourself is pretty awesome. So, thanks for the post.
By the way, your dancing moves are really good. Seriously.
My favorite part of that video is that your face was completely serious and Liz was totally laughing.
I love this.
And I'm so glad you had such a good time.
Also, I've never heard of Chris Mann. But if The Booty shakes, it must be good.
OMG, girl! Shake what yo' momma gave you!!!! This is WONDERFUL. I want you to remember this and how beautiful you look when you just let loose every time you feel a mirror is mocking you. Seriously. Because all of that? Is in your head
WOOT WOOT!
Get your freak on girl! You look awesome!
The email about you being just like your blog…awesome. The junior high feel…yup. That is how I felt at BlogHer last year. This year I have decided that I can only be me….take it or leave it. Thank you for the reminder~
OK, first and foremost, this video is simply awesome. You guys just rocked it. All I can say is it would have taken many, many beers to get me to do that, and I would not have looked an iota as good as you did on the dance floor.
And secondly, I think there is a junior high “me” hidden inside most people. I love that you admit that. And you may have just convinced me to check out one of those conferences one of these days.
Loved it! Looks like you had a great time. I totally would have busted a move with you had I been there. Of course, I probably would have busted a muscle or two, but it's all in the name of fun, right?