Nichole writes for In these Small Moments.
She is a much better mom than me. She’s admittedly That Mom. That Mom we all stare at jealously. That Mom with the perfect hair. That Mom you want to hate.
Except that she’s super nice. And really funny. Which normally would make me desperate to hate her more.
But. Nichole knows just how to get me. She called me unflappable (note: I’m frequently flapped) She’s called me wonderfully evil. She strikes my funny bone and makes it ok that I am not perfect because I’m too busy being wonderfully evil.
Plus, I’m pretty sure that in a bind, she’ll come over and do all the hard stuff for me. Because she’s that great. She’d be there and that makes her the mom I could never hate. When Alex was teething, she was up with me; a friend, a confidant, a comrade-in-arms. She was there.
Lovely is the only word to accurately describe her. Lovely in every way.
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Overprotective is my middle name. Okay, maybe not officially, but I’ve considered changing it legally and haven’t completely ruled it out.
I take whatever guideline has been set for child safety and care and add months to it for good measure.
Rear-facing car seat? One year? That’s for wimps. We went to nearly two years.
Delay solids till 6 months? Nope, nearly 9.
No blanket in the crib for the first year? Not us. Katie was 21 months when we let her have one.
I sanitize everything. Multiple times over.
I am that mom.
Yep, safety is my game.
Then, the other day, my world came screeching to a halt. My confidence in my ability as a mom was crushed.
Katie has been taking swimming lessons this summer and at the end of this last session, all of the kids were moved to another pool, where they were challenged to jump off the diving board. I was holding Matthew when they announced the move, so I put him back into his infant carrier, quickly gathered our belongings—towels, shoes, backpack, diaper bag, baby—and hurriedly followed them.
She jumped off like a champ! I was so caught off guard…I truly didn’t expect her to actually JUMP!
After a healthy amount of celebrating, I toweled her off, changed her clothes, put on her shoes, and put both kids in the car.
We were probably three miles down the road when I looked back to make sure that Matthew hadn’t fallen asleep and he was ON HIS STOMACH! In the chaos of the move at the pool, I hadn’t buckled him into his carrier.
My blood ran cold as I pulled over to a safe spot. I can say that I’ve never been that scared to be in a moving vehicle.
Once parked, I threw off my seatbelt and ran around to his side of the car, retrieved him, and held him impossibly close, sobbing like a maniac.
I learned that day to take nothing for granted and to remind myself to be present in every single moment. I am human and I need to be more mindful.
What was a very scary incident could have destroyed our lives. It takes just one mishap—one lapse—for something like this to happen.
So, now? I double check that I’ve buckled each of them in correctly. Then I double check that I’ve double checked.
Because, well, overprotective is my middle name.
Go visit her at: In these Small Moments.
You know all those horrible, tragic stories of people who left a baby in the car, or something equally devastating?
I was all judgy until I became a mom. Until I understood the level of exhausted diligence that was required every. single. moment.
One slip…one tiny lapse in your chaos riddled, often sleep deprived mind… A thousand times that lapse is caught before tragedy, before consequence. But one time, for one person…
You are an amazing mom. And it helps all the rest of to know that even amazing moms are human.
Because we convince ourselves that EVERYONE is doing a better job than we are. And really, we're all in this momming thing together.
I feel you. You are doing a great job and I think everyone makes those mistakes.
I forgot to buckle in my daughter once – she was a bit older, maybe 2 or 3 – and SHE realized it and LOST HER MIND because her carseat belts weren't buckled. Luckily. I hate to think what would have happened.
OMG! Panic. But you are so right- only human and all prone to slip ups.
Ugh! I've done that. Ken's done it too.
When Laila was born and I realized I had nowhere near the brain power required to care for 2 kids. I used to sing out to Clarabel for her to check that we were all buckled in. Not her responsibility I know but I liked to think I was teaching safety.
i'm totally with you on the rear-facing car seat, Purell and blanket things, too!
I think we have the same middle name. And sadly, I did the same thing one time. Fortunately, it was when my daughter was three, and we hadn't gotten more then 3 blocks when she said, “Mom, do we need to buckle my carseat?”
I also double check now. You sound like a great mom!
It's so easy to have something happen like that…we are so distracted and busy with kiddos, and most of the time things fall into routine and it all gets done. But we've all been there, shaken to the core by something that COULD have happened but, thank God, didn't.
Whew!! Scary stuff…
Ah, I have done it, too. I think only once, & Boo was older. In the 2 or 3 range. I'd gotten him into his seat & was overloaded with stuff that needed to go in the trunk. So I put that stuff in first (so I had hands with which to buckle him) and then got in the car & drove home. I was HORRIFIED when I got home & discovered I hadn't gone back to buckle him. We were somewhere close (I don't remember where), so the drive was only a couple miles….but still.
Nothing compared to my 4 year old asking, a block away from home, “Momma, are you gonna close my door?” Yes, I forgot to press the button to slide the van door closed. I'm still apologizing to the kid to this day; he has no idea why.
Nichole, you are just the sweetest woman I have ever met. Loved this post!
I have a feeling that is exactly the kind of mom I'll be, but not just because I'll be overprotective. Also because I'm completely OCD.
I've had so many of these “omg” moments. They scare the shit outta me and make me wonder how I ever got to be blessed enough to BE a mom. Geez!
Of course she is perfect because she is Nichole with an 'h', Nicoles with no 'h' not so much. Case in point I loaded both kidlets into the minivan at childcare the other day and am backing out all chatty about their day, when my son says, “mommy aren't you going to buckle me up?” Yep the shame of having to pull back into the childcare parking lot to safely secure my child was pretty devastating. I blame the missing 'h'.
i've done that. twice.
but my middle name is “the awesome” so no one questions my judgment.
also E is now old enough to remind me to buckle him in. which is why it is only twice.
i've done that. twice.
but my middle name is “the awesome” so no one questions my judgment.
also E is now old enough to remind me to buckle him in. which is why it is only twice.
i've done that. twice.
but my middle name is “the awesome” so no one questions my judgment.
also E is now old enough to remind me to buckle him in. which is why it is only twice.
I can relate, I too forgot once to buckle my son in the car seat. Did not realize until we got home, it was a short ride but anything can happen.
We flipped the convertible carseat at 14 months but that's only because I cannot fit my son rear-facing in my car. Not enough space between the door frame and the side of the seat…
Life happens!
Oh lady. We all make mistakes. I looked away for a moment the other day and the dude was standing on top of his play fridge. One fall could have been a broken neck. Ahhhhhhh. Don't beat yourself up!
Oh, I can totally relate to this post! I am so overprotective it's scary. Soemtimes, the things I do, I think are totally normal, until I go over to someone else's house and I realize that not everyone sanitizes the highchair every day.
Lori — I had all of the answers, too, before Katie was born. I had half of the answers before Matthew was born, and now I'm pretty sure I have none of them. Sigh. But, yes, we are all in this momming thing together, thank goodness!
Suniverse, Kristin, Alex, the Mombshell, Carol, WTH am I Doing, Booyah's Momma — Thank goodness that as they get older, they help us keep it all together! I was really surprised that Katie didn't tell me that he wasn't buckled, as she's usually so observant. Sigh.
Maryline — If Matthew hadn't been on his stomach, I probably wouldn't have noticed until we got home either! So scary!
The Mombshell — when I was younger, I was so bothered by the H in my name. I couldn't buy any of the cool pencils, license plate frames, etc. I hated being different!
MiMi — In moments like those, I always feel so incredibly incompetent. Thank goodness things to that magnitude don't happen often!
Kristin — I suspect that I'll have a little daredevil like yours on my hands with my son. My daughter is so cautious, but my son seems much braver.
Andygirl — I am so OCD it's scary. My poor kids have very little room to breathe and it's something that I'm truly working on. It isn't easy, though. You will be a great mom…I already know that!
Sherri — maybe those occasional wake up calls are actually a good thing. Maybe?
KLZ–
Thank you so much for having me as your guest poster!
And thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the kind words that you said about me.
You are a lovely friend, my dear.