The Ruins of Us: Giveaway

For months now, I've been following the details on the release of the book "The Ruins of Us". It was written by Keija Parssinen, the sister of a dear friend.

"The Ruins of Us" is a timely story about intolerance, family, and the injustices we endure for love that heralds the arrival of an extraordinary new voice in contemporary fiction.

The author, Keija, was born in Saudi Arabia and lived there for twelve years as a third-generation expatriate. She earned a degree in English literature from Princeton University and received her MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she held a Truman Capote Fellowship and a Teaching-Writing Fellowship. For "The Ruins of Us", her first novel, she received a Michener-Copernicus Award. She lives with her husband on the edge of a quarry in Missouri.

I've got a copy of "The Ruins of Us" to give away to one lucky soul. To enter, simply comment on this post. As always, multiple comments are welcome - every comment is one entry. Giveaway ends Friday February 3rd at noon. US and Canada residents only.

AND YOU SAY YOU’RE IN A BOOK CLUB?

Well hot diggity dog have I got a deal for you! If your book club chooses "THE RUINS OF US", Keija has generously agreed to Skype / FaceTime / call in for an Author Q&A. Awesome, right?

Now, start commenting to win this awesome book.

Or just go ahead and purchase it as your next book club book.

The Best Revenge

This interview with Mindy Kaling on The Happiness Project reminded me that the best revenge is living well.

Hell, yes it is.

So here's a quick guide to living well and getting revenge:

1. Eat Whatever You Want 
Chances are whoever burned you is busy worrying about their caloric intake and obsessing about their workout schedule. I'm just making assumptions here but in my experience people who burn you typically are or become hyper-obsessed about their weight. Don't do that. Top your coffee with whipped cream, get the dressing on your salad, and order a slice of pie. Just don't eat the WHOLE pie. This way, you're enjoying your life without over indulging and they are shrinking away into oblivion.

2. You Don't Need More Stuff
Unless you are a starving child in Africa or your children are going hungry, the odds are you don't need more stuff. What you need? Life experiences. So put down that black sweater. You've got four. Instead go take a yoga class, take up knit or start training for a marathon. What's your nemesis doing right now? Probably getting drunk. Alone.

3. Buy Something that Makes You Feel Bitchin'
Oh, I know. This seems to contradict #2. The thing is you don't need more STUFF but you could use one THING that makes you feel fabulous. So get a pair of boots you love or a lotion that's simply indulgent. Make sure it's something you can't live without, something that truly makes you smile every time you use it. What I mean is: not a cookie jar or a fire extinguisher.

4. Stop Indulging Revenge Fantasies
Look, it's understandable to be angry. It's human to fantasize about that great last line that you SHOULD have used. However, this should not last more than say, 72 hours. If you keep thinking about that fight or planning a Sydney Bristow-style ass kicking, you are the one who loses. As my father would say, "You are letting them rent space in your head for free." Don't let them win. Have one final imaginative escapade and then move on. The next time you think of them? Start baking or reading or running...anything to distract you

5. Delete their number/email/Twitter address
No, not from the face of the planet. Delete is from your contact list. You don't want to know what they're doing. You don't want to know who they're seeing. You don't want to know them. That's what you told them right? So practice what you preach. The saying "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" is really very true. So make sure they're out of your sight. No Facebook stalking, no Google searches, no loopholes. Really, it's for the best.

As an aside, I love Mindy Kaling so if you're not following her on Twitter, go do it @mindykaling. And for the love of Pete, buy her book "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)". That's not an affiliate link, I just love it that much.

No Accent

Listen, if you're not reading Late Enough, you're missing out. That's all there is to it. She's had me completely addicted since she wrote a post about hiding from zombies in trees and on top of that, she's mega-watt awesome all the time. I was lucky enough to con her into guest posting.

And for the record, I'm from Chi-CAH-go. Make no mistake, no matter what my mom tells you.




Alex Iwashyna blogs at Late Enough about life, parenting, marriage, zombies, culture, religion and her inability to wake up in the morning and not hate everyone. She also runs a collaborative review site called This Blogger Makes Fun of Stuff (because she does). Feel free to find her on Facebook or @L8enough on the Twitter. But don’t call. She uses her phone to manage those accounts while avoiding real human interaction.

Insanity Rerun: Proud Mommy Moment

Since I recently gave birth, I'm re-running some guest posts I've been proud of. This is the first time they're appearing on my site. So, these may be new to some and re-runs to others. Either way, I hope you'll enjoy.

There are many thing I like about our son. Which is lucky since it seems once you have the child, it is frowned upon if you don't love and raise him. So I'm glad that in addition to loving him, I genuinely enjoy his company.

That said, it's not that the child is without fault. He roars at other children at the playground when he's mad at them. He's mad at them...pretty much when they touch anything at the playground that he has played with, would like to play with, or may consider playing with in the future. 

We're working on it.

Still, while we work on it, I've worried. We have another little guy on the way and frankly, our son is already rather possessive of his mommy. So I've been having casual conversations with him about what to expect when the baby is born. He knows the baby will cry when he needs something. He knows the baby will only drink milk when he's born. He knows the crib where he once slept will become the new baby's domain. Most of these things took time to get him acclimated to. But we keep talking so that at least, he knows it's coming.

Still, I worried. I do that.

See, even though I loved our first born for months and months before he arrived, it was a huge shock to me to see what adding another person to our household did. It took me months to feel us gel together as a family unit. Previously, it had just been the two of us. Having a baby fractured that twoness - it took us months to feel that everyone was connected again. I hadn't quite anticipated the hugeness of it. I know there's no way to prepare him for that. So, I worry. 

I'm not sure how much he can truly understand at two years old, but I keep talking. 

So one day, laying in bed, I couldn't help but burst with pride. Our son was trying to buy time to stay awake. Quickly he kissed daddy, then mommy, then my belly. Daddy, mommy, belly. Daddy, mommy, belly. Round and round he went. Carefully, he articulated, "I wubv you daddy." Kiss. "I wubv you mommy." Kiss. Then, in a burst of emotion, he wrapped his arms around my stomach and hugged it tightly. "I WUBV you baby. I  WUBV you." Kiss.

It was the first time I felt like a family of four.

I was so proud of our son for including his little brother.

Will they be perfect together? No. Will there be an adjustment period after the baby is born? Sure.

But I'm proud that he remember to include his little brother even before he's born. I'm proud that he brings all of us closer together.

Blessings

When we arrived at our new house, I was surprised to be greeted by this:

The pile included astoundingly thoughtful gifts like this gem from @missmarinastar :

And this cute, awesome set from our friends in Philadelphia:

A keepsake from a belle, a bean, two Chicago dogs and their parents:

The packages that piled up were reminders that in the midst of much havoc, love poured out to us from across the country. The blessings, of course, are all of you.

Thank you for your love and support through all of this. We truly are really blessed to have you in our lives.

PS @ginkafied I miss you and love you. I just don't call to tell you because I know it makes you uncomfortable. So now it's on the blog instead - booyah!

Perfectly Mediocre

I continue, just barely, to be deemed worthy enough to write for Aiming Low. Which is a dubious honor as the site's motto is "perfectly mediocre".



That said, I'm still pretty excited about it. If you'd like to check it out, you can find my posts below:

Men Get Fat Too

My Ankle is a Murderous Traitor

Vampires Make the Best Fathers

How to Deal with Negative Blog Comments

Reply All is Not the Devil


You'll notice a distinct lack of posts about my boobs. But I SWEAR it's still funny writing.

Maybe.

At a bare minimum, it's mediocre.

View all posts by KLZ at Aiming Low

Tips to Sell a House While Living with a Toddler

1. Do not let the toddler into their room
Not ever. The room will instantly be demolished. Toys will be everywhere. You will never keep up with the toy tornado. In fact, do not let the toddler anywhere in the house where there are toys.


2. Make the toddler wear mittens
Let's face it, if you don't, everything you own will be covered with tiny smudgy handprints and a smattering of a cheeto dust. And your toddler doesn't even eat cheetos.

3. Stop eating
Eating is a major crime when it comes to trying to sell your house. Not only does it create horrible things like DISHES that you have to WASH, but it means you will have food in your house. Food the toddler can break. Food the toddler can pour onto the floor. Food that, heaven help you, means you will regularly have to clean the fridge.
 
4. Realize sleep is for the weak
If you sleep in those lovely, comfortable beds you own, it will actually make you less rested. For you will have to make those beds, while wrangling a crabby two year old and trying to get out of the house in time for work. This will happen every morning because you never know when there might be a showing. You NEVER KNOW. So it will be less stressful to just quit sleeping. Vampires have the right idea. It's how they get so rich.
 
5. Leave the House
Realistically, in order to sell the house, you and the toddler need to leave as much as possible. This is counter intuitive since moving is expensive and you'd think you should be staying in to save money. Don't. You will ruin the house you are trying to sell. Go to the library instead. In fact, just go ahead an move in to the library. It's free and stocked with bedtime stories, even if there are no beds.